Old ways of thinking and being have been slowed down and disrupted over the last several years. This forced many to slow down and experience what was really happening. Along with this came the awkward transition into new ways of seeing, being and becoming. I often felt like a baby doe newly walking and seeing the world for the first time through new eyes. As new changes occurred they entered a period of consolidation.
As time progressed these changes and transitions began the process of integration; a sort of ‘becoming.’ The ground became more solid in places it was rocky; the courage to stand firm in one’s own became more familiar; the ability to find greater reciprocity in the face of discomfort became more available. This all contributed to greater wholeness and balance.
As I enter into a new cycle of becoming and being engaged, with the anticipation of yet another new cycle of becoming and being married this year, I hold many of these pieces in mind. I ask humbly that I may have the awareness to pull from these resources in the places I get stuck, learn to integrate these resources at greater frequency, and offer as a source of safety, security and comfort to myself, my loving partner and our partnership in engagement and marriage.
“Coming together is the beginning. Staying together is progress. Working together is success.” ~ Henry Ford
1. De-escalate: Slow Down the Process (in the cycle)
Slowing down the process in any part of life can help us identify what is actually happening. It can give us time to think about what we are experiencing, how we are experiencing it, and why we are experiencing it the way we are. Through this we can see many perspectives. Slowing down the process minimizes the compulsion to react, and gives us a choice to respond in a new way. Sometimes we choose to slow down a process, sometimes we are forced to, and sadly often times we let it run rampant at the expense of eventual destruction.
2. Change Interactional Positions: Begin a New Cycle of Interaction
Once a process has been slowed down, there is room to identify what is calling for change in a cycle. Part of this process involves connecting with the part of one’s self that compels a behavior that may be contributing to the cycle. When this part of one’s self can be met with authentic understanding, and a compassionate response, a new experience can occur. This new experience begins the process of re-patterning negative interactional cycles into positive ones.
3. Consolidation and Integration: Solidifying New Patterns in the Cycle
Once a positive experience has occurred that had otherwise been negative, the old cycle has been successfully interrupted. New challenges can arise where old patterns would have emerged, but the positive experience has primed us for a different outcome and response. This process rewires the neuropathways in the brain and creates new patterns of interaction with the world. We can now meet tougher challenges with greater ease and confidence. We have completed an instance in a cycle and created a new one. A new cycle is essentially born, and greater wholeness has been instilled.
“May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature. May all beings be free- and may all that we do contribute to the highest good of all beings.”
~ Author Unknown